but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
