a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
