so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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