Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
