I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
