i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
