her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
