so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
