She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
