I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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