I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Drake has all the answers
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
