Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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