I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
