i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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