thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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