At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
