he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
