Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
