return my video game
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
