The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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