I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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