A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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