When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
