Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Mom said you looked used
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
