Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I currently don't understand fingers.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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