Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
