Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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