the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
