All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
