Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
