Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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