VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
