just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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