at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
