i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
