And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
