just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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