.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Drake has all the answers
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
