He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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