ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
