I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
