office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
