Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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