Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize