Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
