You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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