I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We are all done wearing pants today
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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