____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
