The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
