she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
