don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
